Well, word of warning, this blog is a long one. Well, it may look long, but it's only a seven minute read...
If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know that I love a good Insta story or two. I absolutely love connecting on social media (and in person), I have met so many incredible friends through this amazing yet controversial platform. One of the most common messages I get are from people saying they love my authenticity.
It may seem like I share my whole life on Instagram stories. However, there is a lot you don’t see, a lot I don’t share and a lot you don’t know.
For someone like myself who is an extrovert, writes blogs and shares some things on Instagram, I am actually a private person when it comes to a lot of things... Like relationships, family and work.
Social media can be seen as ‘living the perfect life’. In which can lead to us comparing ourselves to others, or wishing we had someone else’s life all because of how it is perceived on their social media, because majority of the time, all we see are the good times and the ‘perfect’ moments. I can say that I have never compared myself to someone else, or wished to have someone else's. Life if what YOU make it. Sure, my life isn’t perfect, and I have so many people that say to me “oh, you’re a Flight Attendant, isn’t that the perfect life.” I just laugh, because the perception that people have of Flight Attendants, is that we travel the world for free and get to see amazing places. They don’t see how hard we work, or how it is effecting our health. Disclaimer** I do love my job and the company I work for.
When I decided to write blogs, I went in with three main things: One - I would be completely authentic, genuine and 100% myself. Two - I want to aim to inspire, empower and encourage others. Three - I want to do this because I love writing, but also because there is always going to be someone who connects to your blog. If I can help one person, then I feel like I’ve done my deed.
I have written about positive body image in the past. This blog is along the lines of that, of course. But more so about listening to your body, getting second opinions, as well as loving your body.
For the past few years I have struggled with my weight. According to my BMI (I never go by it anyway) I am the good weight for my age and height, if anything I'm 'overweight' in muscle). Now, I have always been a curvy gal, with a big bust, a bootay and smaller waist. I have always eaten healthy (in moderation) and I exercise daily. But, the past few years I’ve been struggling to maintain a happy relationship with my body.
Is ‘happy relationship’ the right word? I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t not been happy with my body, I have embraced it. But, I know it’s not what I am use to, or where I am my happiest.
I know that as we get older, our bodies change. But I also knew that something wasn’t right within my body. Rewind a few years back, I started to gain weight when I was in a job that caused absolute anxiety, I then had a car accident that slowed down my exercise routine, but then I lost weight again after getting back into F45. I am someone who puts weight on when I don't exercise. I could eat carrot sticks and celery and not exercise and still gain weight (I am genetically blessed – haha).
About three years ago I found out I was dramatically deficient in iron. I was put on iron tablets, and nearly needed an iron infusion, but thankfully could manage it with iron supplements. No, I wasn’t a vegetarian. Yes, I ate spinach, mushrooms and red meat – you name it! My body just didn’t absorb iron. Being iron deficient meant I was low on energy all the time, which meant when I got sick (rare occasion, but in this year, it happened a lot) it would knock me for sixes. I thought I recovered and then didn’t think anything else of it.
Around the same time as this, I found out about some food intolerances and sensitivities. I have known since I was about fourteen that I have been lactose intolerant, but gluten and fructose then came in to the picture a few years later. I then followed the FODMAPS diet very strictly to eliminate foods that would cause the symptoms.
I have been so exhausted to the point of struggling to get out of bed most days. I actually have to push myself nearly every day to get up (in saying that, I do listen to my body and will rest). My anxiety increased, I had all of these pains and aches, my lymph nodes would rise every time I would get run down, I would go out for drinks, it didn’t even have to be many at all and it would also knock me down. I didn’t know what was happening, but all I knew, is that this wasn’t the norm for me.
I have been Doctor hopping for the last three years or so... Yes, I felt like a hypochondriac, but I was determined that there was an explanation to all of this. No, I didn’t think I was dying of some incurable disease, but I just knew that there was something making my body angry at me.
I would have friends and family tell me maybe I should try the latest fad (whatever that may be), or be told to exercise more or eat this or that… Did they forget that my partner is also a dietitian and is actually qualified to give that advice? FYI - you’re always going to have someone say something, and they may think they’re helping, but go and see a professional… Trust me!
After a recent episode on a flight to Melbourne as a passenger, I had to be put on oxygen after having numbness, pain and tingles. This was a morning flight, I had a few drinks the night before and a late night with a super early morning on little to no sleep. It was actually quite embarrassing, especially when they called for a Doctor on board. I don’t know if it made it worse or better knowing the crew. But I was so thankful for them that day. As this is what prompted me to see a Doctor again.
After Doctors would palm me off, telling me it’s depression, or just the job I’m in, or that it was just normal. I finally met Dr Phil (yes that’s his name) and he is a pure genius, also an expert in aviation medicine, so he understands my job! I explained EVERYTHING to him, I told him my symptoms over the years, my daily and weekly routines, my work schedule – everything! He told me straight away. Chronic fatigue. He said “I am 95% sure, we just need to do some more digging and run some tests, but I’m sure you’ve got Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.”
Now it all made sense! I was a little bit sceptical as I had heard it’s quite easy to diagnose with CFS. But after some tests were done etc. I also did some googling, and EVERYTHING made sense and connected… Finally! So, it was confirmed after some tests etc. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and mild Fibromyalgia, which is a rheumatic condition characterised by muscular or musculoskeletal pain with stiffness and localised tenderness at specific points on the body. This was all caused by what the Doctor first thought was maybe a mosquito born disease, but was confirmed it was actually caused from a post viral infection fatigue (I think that’s right), which shows Glandular Fever, which I picked up three years ago and never recovered from, so I have had CFS for just over three years!
“AHHHH,” such a HUGE sigh of relief to finally have answers and I can now move forward. I’m not going to lie, I was hesitant about mentioning to anyone really, let alone to put it out there on a blog. This is something I was just going to keep to myself and my close family and friends. I mean, it's CFS, it's not the ned of the world.
I know people will have their opinions and try to tell me it’s this or that, or to harden up and get over it, whatever. But, the point of me sharing this, is that it is so important for us to listen to our body. Especially my fellow flighties and anyone in shift work, it’s so easy to be told we are just tired, because that’s just our job, or to get sleep and harden up. But at the end of the day, you know your body best and you need to listen to it!
All that I can do now is to try and get into somewhat kind of a routine, keep eating healthy, keep exercising, however before midday is preferable (Dr’s orders). This is also huge part of why I struggle to lose weight. So hopefully I can get some kind of a routine. Dr Phil and Dietitian Drew have ordered me to eat more, period. Especially, to eat more carbs for breakfast. Making some tiny changes in my diet, some of these being little to no alcohol and no caffeine.
Three main reasons that I have shared this blog with you is:
1. Always get a second or third opinion.
2. Listen to your body. Your body is your temple. YOU know your body better than anyone. Keep investigating until you get answers.
3. LOVE YOURSELF. YOU are beautiful, inside and out!
Thank you for reading this longer than usual blog. I have been pretty quiet lately with all of this and #unilife plus working full-time and just being an all round busy adult!
Until my next blog...
Love,
D xx